Sac State Grad Selling Her Virginity For Tuition

Hof says hundreds of offers have already come in including some from male virgins. I sit here staring at this blank space on my page and am unable to find the words, from a personal or company level in regards to this article.  I think its best to open the floor for disscussion on this one and hear what you guys think and feel on this topic.

I THINK…I feel….sad, but that would mean that it’s a situation that is unchangable, I don’t feel anger, in a way I feel compassion or am I misunderstanding what might feel like compassion as pity? No pity doesn’t feel right when I try that on either…oddly enough I am not shocked, this story feels more like an idea for a bad movie.  I wouldnt be surpised if someone has already obtained the rights to the story.

“The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life,” Dylan told CBS13.  “I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself.”

Is what Dylan doing an example of an empowered female role model? Huh? am I missing something? Selling your virginity for tuition is empowering? How so?…maybe I am baffled?  I mean, how would selling your Virginity build your self-esteem?  Honestly I am trying to put my personal values aside and see this from her perspective to try and gain some knowledge of the thought that has gone behind this type of decision.

Check out the full article and video here and let me know whaty you think.

http://cbs13.com/watercooler/selling.virginity.tuition.2.814271.html

xo

Kendra

ps Thanks to Kathy for bringing this article to GBD’s attention.

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36 Responses to “Sac State Grad Selling Her Virginity For Tuition”

  1. Arelis Says:

    My friend was telling me about this past weekend and I thought he was making it up because it sounded so ridiculous!

  2. RG Says:

    Ok, interresting question:
    What about prostitution?
    In a world where we all sell a part of our body (arms for dockers, brain for banckers, feets for waiters…) is it still shocking to sell sex? What if she doesn’t project on her sex the same than others? What if attracted by the money she can earn, she selects freely the person and the conditions which she wants to sell this part of herself in? Is it shocking because we see in her the mother? The wife? The daughter or sister she could be? What about people that go out and have sexual relationship with people they dont’ know? What about the couples that go with other couples? What if we try to be critical with our system of values? What would be wrong for human soul in a chosen “luxury” prostitution. Dont’ be shocked, I play the devil’s advocate of course, but who wants to answer to this?

  3. taylor nikole Says:

    this is where things like ‘last resorts’ come in….
    maybe not even last resorts, but easy money I guess.
    I don’t really know what to make of it.
    It’s sad that people will do almost anything for money….
    but actually tuition…
    so her intention was good, but getting there… maybe not so much.

    “Is it shocking because we see in her the mother? The wife? The daughter or sister she could be? What about people that go out and have sexual relationship with people they dont’ know?”

    In a way, we try to recognize potential in everyone. We don’t see too many articles about ‘older’ woman and prostitution trying to make a living….it seems we focus on the young girls.
    I don’t want to side or not side with the girl from the article, because to be able to do that you have to first be able to put yourself in her shoes.
    How do you judge a person if you don’t undersatnd them? Their situations?
    Yep, it all falls back to society and morals…. which seems to be a big subtopic to many discussions.
    Many don’t see it as right… but maybe her state of mind isn’t exactly where ours is…. or maybe shes a little on the fence.
    Who knows….
    A
    Good topic Kendra.

  4. taylor nikole Says:

    this is where things like ‘last resorts’ come in….
    maybe not even last resorts, but easy money I guess.
    I don’t really know what to make of it.
    It’s sad that people will do almost anything for money….
    but actually tuition…
    so her intention was good, but getting there… maybe not so much.

    “Is it shocking because we see in her the mother? The wife? The daughter or sister she could be? What about people that go out and have sexual relationship with people they dont’ know?”

    In a way, we try to recognize potential in everyone. We don’t see too many articles about ‘older’ woman and prostitution trying to make a living….it seems we focus on the young girls.
    I don’t want to side or not side with the girl from the article, because to be able to do that you have to first be able to put yourself in her shoes.
    How do you judge a person if you don’t undersatnd them? Their situations?
    Yep, it all falls back to society and morals…. which seems to be a big subtopic to many discussions.
    Many don’t see it as right… but maybe her state of mind isn’t exactly where ours is…. or maybe shes a little on the fence.
    Who knows….

    Good topic Kendra.
    😀

  5. taylor nikole Says:

    stupid duplicating comment and slow computer
    😦

  6. MarilyneL Says:

    Hum..well… I think that the surface perception is kinda acceptable, because of the tuition part of it. It could be seen as a good as raising money through a car wash…However, this auction is fondamentally prostitution, well paid prostitution. I’m glad e-Bay refused to be a part of it ’cause I can’t imagine the effects that would have this event on the internet selling industry. I think that in order to say if it’s good or bad, you have to know if your values say that prostitution is right or wrong. Really ethical question though…
    I might take this topic for my final Philosophy essay in December..hum..interesting

  7. Binks Says:

    This is a tough one to call. On one side, I can see her situation because I’m a senior in High School and while I sift through applications for school the prices are overwhelming to say the least. But selling my virginity? uhmm….no. She has her bachelors degree, why not start working with what she has? The article says she got student loans, well her step-dad did anyways. r_r But there are various loans available, from school loans to federal loans (who grant more leverage to pay back) There’s also a HUGE amount of scholarships available, a friend who works at the YMCA hasn’t had to pay a cent of her college because she applied to a number of scholarships. What about grants? Or get out of school, save, then go back. Selling your virginity doesn’t seem like a plausible option. I, personally, would never do it. The idea is innovative, haha, I’ll giver her that. But she isn’t earning any brownie points from me. I don’t know what’s scarier, that she’s auctioning it off or that there are bidders willing to pay $250, 000 dollars to have sex with her. Hello? Pervs much?
    There are a lot of options out there, so I don’t really see the necessity for such an extreme. But maybe I’m wrong, this article is just an overview, the facts, it isn’t a really detailed account as to why or how she came to the decision, maybe there’s more to it than meets the eye.
    I don’t think it’s empowering, nor do I think it’s “bettering yourself” in fact, I think it’s lowering it, it’s a little belittling actually. Selling one of your most valuable experiences for money for college. Hey, at least it’s for education, but still, I don’t think there’s anything to look up to in this case.

    *Taylor. LOL, ’tis ok. Happened to me a bunch of times. *pats on back*

  8. taylor nikole Says:

    😀

  9. RG Says:

    Why are we talking about the fact that there are many others ways to finance academical studies?
    I mean, is this the point? Would it be different if she did this for buying donuts? Dont’ we answer to this question: how can a woman sell what we generaly consider as one of the most precious thing? What can we honestly answer to a young girl that says: After all, apart the fact that my future would be seriously compromised if that activity was to be known, i don’t share the same feelings about my intimacy, and can’t see what would be so disgusting or shocking if i can choose who and how i’ll be doing it. Is it really so different from those who “rent” there arms for hourse to make nuts in industries where they are also just used as automatic tools?

  10. RG Says:

    Is there a rational answer? Or are there only emotional answers ?

  11. taylor nikole Says:

    personally i think its more of emotional answers….
    what kind of answer like that seems rational?
    although in a way she did have motives like I said, but in many peoples ‘experience’, ‘minds’ etc… what she did or is doing certainly isn’t right… morally, emotionally, whatever.

    In my opinion, were sitting here discussing how wrong she is and we most certainly do have a right to our opinion… but for some reason we can’t put ourselves in her position.
    Actually, some of us can…. mainly all of us can, but all of us have different morals and different ways to deal with our situations.
    Hers just seems to go against personal morals and ethics.

  12. Sascha Says:

    that’s a very strange story indeed.

    i do not know the motivations of this woman, so i won’t be the judge if this is right or wrong, but i personally can’t understand that somebody is seeking for money that way. i fully agree with “Binks” here, c’mon there are so many other possibilities.

    the fact which makes the whole story even more outlandish is, that somebody is willing to offer this young woman 250.000 $ just for being her “first” sexual partner. being one of the few gentlemen in here, this vision is really too awkward for me. to quote Gary Jules: “mad world”. oO

    (sorry for any mistakes :S )

  13. Hammad Says:

    Is this not merely prostitution, which is the selling of sex for monetary compensation, except it’s sugar-coated in a sense? Adding a good cause to it’s purpose – educational – in an end justifies the means kind of way, which makes it Machiavellian. The rationalization could be “I’m not really prostituting myself because it’s for a good goal”. Also, it’s worse than just prostitution because this particular act will entail the loss of virginity, which I think most women find to be special, to something that can be bought and sold as a commodity. Prostitution takes away the emotional or spiritual component that should be tied to the sex act, and leaves only the physical component. I understand it’s a one time thing, but when is prostitution ever “empowering” for women?

    In general, I think most people find prostitution morally reprehensible. Obviously, that’s an assumption I’m making. I can’t say its factual or rational, because morality can’t always be defined in such a manner. But, I’m not going to get into moral absolutism or relativism because it is tied to my religious beliefs.

  14. Diana Says:

    I will be graduating from college soon and will be pursuing law school but it never crossed my mind to prostitute myself despite being on some financial aid.

    The article cites her stepfather has the reason she is having a hard time with financial aid but I’m sure if she looked hard enough, there’d be loans available for her and taking out high-interest loans is a reality for many college students albeit a sad one.

    I think she needs to find a part-time job—also like many college and grad students out there. She’s clearly looking for an “easy” way out and as much as I don’t want to judge her character, her willingness to do this says enough.

  15. Diana Says:

    Sorry for the double post but I should’ve proofread. The second paragraph’s first sentence should read, “The article cites her stepfather AS the reason…”

  16. Lydia Says:

    I can’t find anything positive about it.

    There must be another way to get financial support. And, even if there isn’t, it isn’t worth going this far.

    One’s first time is supposed to be a beautiful and precious moment with a person you love and who loves you too.

    I don’t consider her being a empowered female role model, at all and it isn’t an attitude towards a better self either.

    I hope she will reconsider.

  17. intrigued Says:

    One other question which comes to mind is the kind of person willing to bid for her virginity. I think it shows that in our society today, sex is viewed as a easy product to ‘buy’ its lost its meaning. Its kind of distressing because it simply portrays to other young women to use their sexuality to their advantage to get somewhere in life, to better their situations. I dont think that seems right.

  18. t Says:

    An undergrad college degree is enough to keep you alive..even high school grads who don’t go to college survive. If she is doing this just cuz she REALLY wants to go to grad school, she clearly does not know her priorities.
    This girl has no excuse if her reason is really that she ‘needs money’, which leads me to believe that financial aid isn’t really her MAIN reason. Maybe she’s going for attention? fame? Maybe she’s depressed?

    I just find it especially weird for someone who has consciously maintained their virginity and avoided peer pressure throughout college to make such a drastic shift.

  19. skahahoo Says:

    This story reminds me of another story I read a few years ago about the “virginity scholarships” in Uganda. At the time the story was reported, there were many girls who, out of desperation, opted to marry “sugar daddies” (that’s what they called them, not me) in order to survive. Oftentimes, these girls were responsible for younger siblings and other family members. Because of their difficult circumstances, many of these girls left school. So the scholarships were intended to counteract this by giving girls another option. I don’t know if the scholarships ever came to fruition or not.

    When I compare the Uganda story to this one, I’m left to wonder which situation is better – in Uganda, where the girls are in essence “selling” their virginity because from their perspective, they don’t have any other viable option if they want to survive, or this situtation, in which Dylan has other options, but just decided that selling her virginity was the most sensible one for her.

    I also wonder about the-chicken-or-the-egg aspect of Dylan’s situation. Historically, female virginity has been a marketable commodity. Highly prized females won bigger dowries and such. That Dylan is so literally capitalizing on her virginity today, while surprising, is not without precedent.

    And you also have to wonder…what do Dylan’s actions and our reactions to it say about our society? Speaking as someone with a six-figure debt, mostly due to grad school expenses, higher education in the U.S. is certainly not cheap. There are scholarships and grants, but you have to stand out in some way to get these. For everyone else, loans are another option, but you’re not going to get a reasonable one if your credit is bad, as seems to be the case with Dylan and her step-father, although I have no idea really what the situation is there.

    In my opinion, it doesn’t seem that Dylan holds virginity in the high regard as many others do. Does this make her actions less moral? I don’t know. But say she goes through with this, with a clear conscience. And say she because of her actions, she is stigmatized for the rest of her life, and will suffer more because of the way the rest of us react to her than from her actions themselves. Would that situation be better?

    I will say this. It takes some kind of cahones to come out and do something like this in public. Dylan either has an incredible amount of self-confidence or very little of it.

  20. Jo Says:

    It definately shocks me that someone would want to do this. It’s not a form of female empowerment at all. It’s prostitution. I do know that there are a lot of women that ae selling their ‘eggs’ to help pay for their education also, which can be very dangerous. I odn’t understand this at all, but I guess it’s their choice and they are the ones that will have to live with the consequences (if any).

  21. Jo Says:

    Also….I think she is taking the easy way out, and maybe looking for a little bit of attention in the process. Pity on the man that accepts that offer if his name gets out. Whatever happened to good old fashioned working your butt off to save the money?

  22. G Says:

    I don’t have any long, insightful post, but I do have one this to say…err ask. WTF!? That’s messed up. I don’t see how selling your body for tuition is seen as empowering. People act so disgusted and bitch and moan when a woman does it to feed herself, or when porn stars do it, but it’s empowering if it’s for tuition!? My foot it is. *shakes head* People.

  23. Gina Says:

    Oh my gosh, I’m completely speechless. Look, I am about $75,000 in debt from my college that I only attended for a YEAR and now I need a deferment to hold off my payments because I am still in school.

    Are situations REALLY that hard in which you have to SELL yourself? Do people not have morals anymore? And it’s not even morals, too. It’s stupidity. I shouldn’t have to judge, but seriously? That is ridiculous. It’s not like she owes some guy in a gang $20,000 in which she needs the money right away.

    Seriously, get a job. Don’t be lazy. There is no excuse to not fill out multiple applications and apply for jobs. In no way would I EVER be in this situation. I’d die before I sold my body and soul.

    Ugh, human stupidity has reached a new level. I hope I’m not too harsh, I’m just speaking my mind! 🙂

  24. Ash Says:

    Hmmmmm my thoughts…. this chick has some major issues. 😛
    But, she’s gonna do, what she wanna do. : -/

  25. Lola Says:

    I’m not surprised, but it’s alarming that she would associate it with girl empowerment.. Some people will laugh at her once she arrives in her college.
    A first time should never be planned – in my opinion – and the person you’re doing it with should mean something to you..

    Let’s hope she doesn’t get hurt (emotionally) in the process.

  26. Emma-Lu Says:

    I second Skakahoo, it’s as if she is trying to turn female virginity into a commodity and thereby exploiting it. Has she considered the emotional impact of actually going through with this?! I agree with Lola too, she might get hurt, even though she thinks she’s hardcore. The human body and mind are not detached…but I don’t want to impose a personal judgment as it is her body and her choice.
    I too am convinced that this is not her only option for college fees. Even though she is taking full responsibility, I feel like there is a subliminal message of attention seeking, combined with personal revenge (towards her stepdad). But maybe she has either too much or too little confidence as Skakahoo said before. Hope she doesn’t get hurt.

  27. Emmy Says:

    What she is doing is prostitution, and I don’t see how there is any other way to spin that. I feel sad for her because this is really dangerous. She won’t really know the guy. He could be a total creep and just not come off as one. He could also be carrying STIs. If we are okay with this, our daughters will grow up thinking that this is okay. I personally do not want my future daughter believing this. I’m afraid that if we support Dylan on this, it will one day lead to us supporting the act of little girls prostituting themselves to feed their families. The end does not justify the means.

  28. Maxima Says:

    I would never do it…and I would never have respect for a person that does not respect itself.
    Perhaps she’s seeking attention ,and what’s better than shock value!

  29. Cassie Says:

    This topic made me think of this really great book I read last year about how we are now living in a post-feminist world where we are trained – mostly by other women (a woman now runs playboy!) – to think that “raunch culture” is empowering to women. Showing your boobs on girls gone wild for a t-shirt is “empowering”, posing nude for all the world to see in playboy is “empowering”, having casual sex is, naturally, very empowering! I mean, who comes off as more empowered than Samantha (the one who sleeps with random guys) on Sex and the City? But I just don’t see how all that translates into real life…Aren’t we just playing right into the hands of the guys who only value us for our sexuality when we play along with this whole culture?

    I honestly feel sick to my stomach for this young woman and what she is going to do. How can she know that this is an empowering experience when she’s never had sex and therefore does not know how personal it will feel? I feel bad that she wanted to wait but then “reality hit.” What does that mean? She realized no one else is waiting and therefore she doesn’t see the point? She lost hope in finding “the one”? That’s too bad, and really sad.

    If anyone is interested, the book is called Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy.

    Thanks for listening!! 🙂

  30. Lorna Says:

    My first thought was that what this girl is doing is pretty much prosititution. Its ridiculous and awful that someone would resort to selling themselves just for tuition money. The only thing I can think of that is even vaguely a positive, is that she seems to be being pretty smart about it – not selling to the highest bidder but to someone she thinks would be “worthy”. It would be so much worse if she just sold herself to some random guy who happened to have the most money.
    Not that that makes it ok.

  31. Ashley Says:

    Girls, girls, girls.
    Hold on to you’re virginity. That girl is being completely stupid, you shouldn’t sell it for anything. That is something that is a special part of us and selling makes you look less of who you are. I understand tuition is high for college students, but thats no excuse, Im ninteen and Im college freshman and my tuition is like racked but I’ll be paying in small amounts why can’t she do it. It’s much easier much safer.

  32. jillian Says:

    i think this is absolutley ridiculous!!!

    what has our world come to? womens empowerment… yeah right! it makes me sad that shes willing to give up something so precious. and even more mad that she’s doing it in the name of making her self a better person and empowering women?

    give me a break!

  33. Rachel Brooke Says:

    Nothing about this is empowering to me. Women have come so far these days – just look at the current Presidential race alone! There are so many other ways available to make a life for yourself other than using sex.

  34. Lyta Says:

    Empowerment? Well, attempting to see it from this young woman’s perspective, she is using sex as a source of power, particularly over men. Sorry, but that’s the cold hard truth that most women should come to realize; sex is power. More likely than not, people are going to disrespect her for doing this. And more likely than not it is going to hurt and be somewhat of an unpleasant experience for her.

    I constantly remind myself that money can’t buy you love as social status doesn’t guarantee you respect. She she is going to make a ton of money in the end, but the guy may not know her well enough to love her. She plans on becoming a family and marriage counselor/psychologist, but earning that title doesn’t necessarily mean that people are going to respect her.

  35. *dacara* Says:

    I don’t know what to say about this. I am attending college and even though it is expensive, I would never in a million years think of doing a thing like this to get money for college. I guess some girls don’t see their virginity as such a special thing. There are many places to look for money like scholarships, loans, grants, how about working.

  36. vishalrix Says:

    RG: What if attracted by the money she can earn, she selects freely the person and the conditions which she wants to sell this part of herself in? Is it shocking because we see in her the mother?
    In that case the dude ( if it is a dude) is getting a raw deal, right? He’s paying for something which you content may be offered free ( of choice).
    I am not at all picking any holes in your questions. Just taking one step more. And good set of questions/points you got there.

    Sascha: the fact which makes the whole story even more outlandish is, that somebody is willing to offer this young woman 250.000 $ just for being her “first” sexual partner. being one of the few gentlemen in here, this vision is really too awkward for me.
    Sort of the gentlemens version of a women responding to a like proposition( where money was not specified) by, “Thats a offer too vulgar for a lady like me; and I don’t even know what is it worth”.
    Nice name you’ve got there. I always thought that “Sasha” was a female name. ( I just checked wikipedia). Interesting.
    I am not a westerner, if you wonder.

    Hammad: Also, it’s worse than just prostitution because this particular act will entail the loss of virginity…
    Hammad, you can’t really tell. Maybe she swindling the guy( who accepts the offer). I mean who knows … about her virginity.

    Diana: I will be graduating from college soon and will be pursuing law school but it never crossed my mind to prostitute myself despite being on some financial aid.
    But, you’ve got to admire her creativity. Don’t you think her creativity entitles her to a college education ( maybe in arts, er hollywood)?
    A sort of self-fulfilling endeavour.

    taylor Nicole: stupid duplicating comment and slow computer
    🙂

    Lorna: The only thing I can think of that is even vaguely a positive, is that she seems to be being pretty smart about it – not selling to the highest bidder but to someone she thinks would be “worthy”.
    Lorna, you got it I guess. She is very smart, and given that she’s getting all those offers, and has a choice, she is not at all in dire straits.
    And to take it further, I guess the odds of the deal going the the “guy next door” are pretty high, given most men have paid for sex at some point ( keeping in mind she’s getting offers from all kinds of men, even virgins).
    But always keep in mind that she’s getting a “good” deal does not mean that the next girl that does the same will also get a “good” deal. The chances of exploitation are too huge, even for this “smart” girl.

    From the report : All she wants to do is get her master’s degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist.
    Yeah right. But then I don’t know.

    Me: I guess she’s smart, but not smart enough to know that she’s making a bad choice. I am sure deep inside she’ll feel bad about it someday, sometime or always. I hope not; I can only hope she’s mature enough to make such a decision, and more importantly mature enough to handle the psychological, social consequeses on her psyche.

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